Horrific Tales from Rwanda Genocide Memorial Sites

Power beyond comprehension. A power that literally sucked the breath right out of me. And though the physical reaction may fade, its affects will forever linger. All emotions were held at bay during my third educational trip to Rwanda. The Genocide Memorial sites! Horrific explanations! Bullet and grenade remains! All the same to me, unfortunately. I don’t pride myself on being emotionless. It just was where I was at. But on our last full day in Rwanda, events took place that I will only attempt to put in words. We visited an organization called CARSA – Christian Action for Reconciliation and Social Assistance. Logical, right? Of course a country that was so broken down needs rebuilding initiatives such as this. That’s what I was thinking as I went to sit down and learn. Just another part of our educational trip. Another piece to the puzzle. A nice closing up after various difficult sites. Right?

Little did I know it would be way more than this. Not only for me, but everyone in that room.

The Belgian Memorial in Kigali, Rwanda

First, a quick background: When the Rwandan genocide ensued from April to July 1994, so many took part and so many were also later imprisoned. Soon, there were 10,000 prisoners crowding a 1000 max jail. The government had to think of an alternative, and since government had been a large part of the propaganda, it had its own responsibility as a country. Long story short, perpetrators were divided into categories, and those in the last category were given the chance of freedom through community service. Now, narrow this down to a specific pair of extraordinary people living life after the genocide.

Our buses making their way to visit CARSA that day…

John and Chantale. They willingly shared their story in a documentary we watched at CARSA, entitled “As We Forgive.” John, now 62 years old, was released from prison in 2002 after participating in the genocide. Overtaken by evil and hatred, John did the unthinkable. He murdered. His neighbor and friend, his own village clan member. That’s who he murdered. Chantale, now in her 40′s, is a victim of the genocide. She lost husband, kids, aunts, uncles, parents. Chantale now lives with her only remaining family member, her 16 year old daughter with whom she was pregnant during the genocide. And one more thing. She witnessed with her own eyes when her father was murdered in front of her…by John.

After the genocide, Chantale became like a walking shell. She rarely bathed. She was barely able to do what was necessary for her and her daughter to survive. She had been taken over by death, although she lived. When she learned that John was released from prison, she wanted nothing to do with him. She avoided his face although he returned to her same village. Every time she saw him, he reminded her of the horrific blood she saw flow down her father’s face. It continued killing her on the inside.

John, after having served 9 years in prison, had actually changed through the message of the gospel brought to him there. He confessed his murder, and having been in the lowest category of genocide participation, was actually granted to be released for community service. As soon as John returned to his village, he quickly recognized Chantale’s face. He had made peace with God, but his soul was deeply troubled by having never spoken with Chantale since. This is where CARSA came in. Knowing his desire to speak with her, their trained counselor prepared both of them separately for the encounter. John was able to set up a meeting to talk with her when she decided she was ready.

The conversation we watched went like this:
“Chantale, I was taken over by evil. I murdered your father, and I am sorry for what I did. I cannot take it back, but I did it. Please forgive me.”
“Do you see what you have done?! I have no family! My house has been destroyed! My life can never be the same!”
“Have mercy.”
“I became like death! I barely survived these years since the genocide. I have no one!”
“Have mercy.”
I have no one left. Look what you have done to me! You murdered my father. You destroyed my life. I cannot forgive you. I cannot.”

Watching this raw encounter on the documentary was almost excruciating. It was like invading a world you weren’t allowed in to, and suddenly you weren’t sure what to think. Victim versus perpetrator. Take the victim side, right? But no, now everything felt so confusing, so unclear.

The curious thing about this encounter was that John left joyful (having made this first step, he was courageous enough to determine to visit her once a week and serve her however he could until she trusted him). And Chantale? Having cried and cried previously in front of the camera, she realized that the hateful, angry person in that room was not her. Yet, her heart had spoken, and now she recognized the hatred it that gripped it. The awful pain life had brought her and now, to add to that, noticeable unforgiveness…it was all too much for her to handle.

And that’s where it ended. At least on this documentary. Created in 2006 by a student who came to Rwanda, it wasn’t intended to have any sort of clear ending. It was just meant to document the reconciliation attempt. But what happened in our room was unmistakable. It was them. John. Chantale. Walking in side by side. You could hear a pin drop.

John and Chantale as they spoke with us
I don’t dare to go into the process that has taken place in the five years since the first encounter we watched. All I know is that they reached a depth of reconciliation one can only hope to imagine. In fact, never having ever conjured up this scenario, I was floored at the reality of this relationship. John and Chantale see each other daily now. They share their story together with people such as us and their fellow community. They ate lunch with us. They shook our hands. I felt like I was in the presence of angels.

Like I said before, I was emotionless when surrounded by places of evil, but it would have been inhumane for me not to have felt something in that room that day. In fact, I felt everything. And all at once. I just didn’t know what. Physical reaction was all I could manage to recognize. Like something punched me in the gut and left me stranded, unsure.

Both John and Chantale astounded me. They left me with questions it will take a lifetime to answer and challenges my faith has never yet encountered. Do I have the kind of faith that can look beyond my own despair, and not only forgive, but daily seek relationship with my enemy??

or…

Do I have the kind of faith that would broadcast my deepest, darkest sin toward the very person that could hurt me the most? Would I have the guts to seek relationship with that person when there are a hundred more villages and people to choose from?

John and Chantale awakened my soul to a love that goes beyond all words. I only wish there were a way I could transport them to you instead of using my flimsy words to convey exactly the power I felt and still feel today.

One of a million magnificent views in Rwanda